It was good to get back to work today. Through another weekend, I did a lot but I still find that the weekends are very lonesome. I miss her the most then.
I have a busy week planned. Tomorrow afternoon the house will be appraised (needed for the estate lawyer), then I have an Elders meeting at church. Wednesday evening I have dinner planned with some friends. Then Friday Roger and his son will come here and I will try to cook for them. Not sure how well that will go or what I will prepare. Probably the chicken salad that eat for every meal is not a good choice for this:-)
I would like to describe the way I feel sometimes but I really don't have the words or names for these feelings. It's very odd. The closest I can come is to say that I feel a mild case of "butterflies in my stomach". The feeling that is associated with mild anxiety. Kind of like when I have to do something important that I have never done before, even though I'm confident I will do it, I am anxious at the same time. I feel this a lot. I think it is because I don't know what my life will be like in the coming years. I am healthy and reasonably resourceful so I am sure I will be OK but still...what will it be like for me without Jo Lynn to share everything with?
I don't know. I just don't know.
