Letter to Deanna.
At church this morning we had some small books for women to be given for Mother's Day. I took two two, one each for Deanna and Marissa. Since we decided not to meet today I wanted to mail them. I wrote a letter to Deanna and put it the package. Here is the leter.
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5/9/04
Deanna,
I hope that this book might be helpful to you some times.
I want to tell you how much I value the help and support that you have provided to me since Mom’s death. I know these last few weeks would have been a lot harder, for me, if it hadn’t been for you. You stayed with me, helped me with the most difficult tasks, and provided good advice. I am sorry that I seemingly don’t know how to help you as much when I know your loss is just as great as mine.
Just as I am sure that no one knows precisely how I feel and how I miss my wife; I am sure that I am not able to know precisely how the loss of your Mother must feel.
This morning someone told me that I should be glad that I knew Jo Lynn was with Christ; that knowing that should make my sadness go away. Usually I have just ignored these kinds of comments but this morning I thought for a minute and then responded. “The truth is I do know that but that doesn’t help when I think about her never being with me again, never coming home in the evening, never being in church with me.”
That she is in heaven doesn’t help when we miss her. Last weekend with all of us at your house for the weekend; I missed her happiness. I thought about how proud she would have been when all four of us finished the 5K run and when Marissa and Jake won medals. When you introduced Dick I could barely even say hello; I was so moved that my voice cracked because I recalled how proud Mom and I were when we read the letter that he wrote us about you. That letter reinforced the accomplishments that you have made for your self and everyone you touch in your life.
I know this too. Mom would be so very very proud of you and how much you are helping to hold the family together now as we try to learn to go on without her here to steer us. Mom and I were full of pride of you and your family, Rich, Scott, and Marissa are all three such good and kind people. She would have glowed with Grandma pride when the kids sang in their choir with all of us in pews. It was a source of great pride for her that you and Rich have taken such a leadership role in your church.
I know that Marissa’s graduation will one of the times that we will think about Mom and the pride she would have felt for Marissa; how well she does in school, in sports, and what magnificent young woman she is. I will have the same feelings but Mom would have expressed them so much better. I will miss that too.
When Scott’s new football season begins we will experience similar feelings. She was so pleased by his work and successes in everything but the football was somehow special to her. When he won the best attitude award she was very happy; for her there was nothing better than that.
Love
Dad
