This weekend is proving to be more difficult than I had expected. I found myself missing Jo Lynn a lot yesterday. And still this morning, I found my self in the shower wondering how to keep her memory alive for Max. Max is too young to have any real memories of her. He has her gifts to him and her voice on the story CDs she made for him. But he won't know how much she loved him and how much she would have done for him as he grew. The truth is, there is not much I can do, I think. Still, I am very sad that she couldn't have lived to affect Max's life the way she did for Marissa and Scott. She always knew what to say or do for them that was just what they needed. She made them such a special part of her life all the time. Giving them gifts and sending them little things that made them happy. She always had very clear ideas about what gifts would be most appreciated by them. Skills that I lack for the most part.
I still find little things that we would have enjoyed joking about or talking over. That is what happened yesterday that started the sad thoughts. There is nothing that I can do about her being gone. I can't imagine her back with us.
Next weekend I will be going to Albion and Colfax. Seeing her Mom may be hard, I am not sure that it matters to her if I stop in to see her or not. I am not sure why I think I need to do it...But I do.
