Today is Saturday again and it was tough again. I got a good bit accomplished, worked on the estate, found and appraiser from Marion, now I just need to wait for him to call me back and come. Did the wash, and again a wave of sadness and fear when I took the sheets from the bed. That has happened every time I have washed the sheets. Somehow the weight of knowing Jo Lynn is never coming home just overwhelms me. I think it is because when ever she was gone for a few days I always washed the sheets so she would come home to "smooth sheets", so ... you get the picture. The same feeling hit me again when I ironed some clothes. Not sure why but that too has happened before?
I bought a book on Grief this week. It seems to be pretty good but if I read too much of it at one time I start to weep. But it looks like most of the feelings I have are completely normal. At least others describe similar feelings. The discouraging thing is the books warning that this may last years!
I met our friend Nino today for coffee. He and I talked about loss, his divorce and my wife's death. He is an understanding man, very smart, and yet not so close that my emotions scare him or me. I will call him again, to meet, to talk.
Tomorrow is Mother's day. I will meet Deanna et al in Livermore after church. We will meet at the miniature golf course near the freeway. We will play and then have dinner together. I am looking forward to that but I wonder how long she can continue to support me so much. She has been wonderful. Originally we planned to meet at the SF Zoo but she worried that the crowds in SF might make finding a restaurant difficult. So the penguin got adopted via the internet and we moved our meeting to Livermore. Livermore is better for them in that they have to drive less, I am glad for that.
