I seem to have developed a new difficulty. Since Sunday night I have had trouble sleeping. I fall asleep quickly but wake after two or three hours and then can't seem to fall asleep again. It is not like insomnia that I have experienced or a few occasions in my life. On those occasions I could identify the worry that was causing me to lose sleep because it was on my mind when I could not sleep. Now I just wake and nothing is really there. I suppose it should be obvious that it is due to missing Jo Lynn but the symptoms are not so clear. What ever it is I am tired of it.
My son, Jake, was here for last night for dinner and he stayed. He will work from my house this morning before his business meeting later this morning. I enjoyed talking to him last night. He told me, "it still doesn't seem like Mom is really gone." I agree, sometimes I feel the same way. It isn't that I expect her to come back. I no longer feel like she will be home when I get there. Still though, sometimes I imagine the things I will tell her when I see her and I feel like I need to share thoughts with her. I don't know how long it takes for these feeling to fade...
I arranged for a piano moving company to take the Piano to Deanna's house. It will be picked up next week on Tuesday or Wednesday. It will cost $300 but it would cost nearly that much to rent a truck and equipment, then we would have to spend a day moving it. Deanna found the company and I made the arrangements. The piano had been Jo's when she was a kid and she have planned for Deanna to have it. Deanna believes both Scott and Marissa may want to take lessons. I hope so. I will be able to rearrange the dining room once the piano is gone and then I will make a wall for my photographs in the entry hall.
Monday most of the day was used by sorting the medical bills and insurance forms from Jo's leukemia. Turns out that the small life insurance policy her folks had purchased when she was little also pay $2400 for out of pocket medical expenses for people with cancer. So I made copies of all the insurance forms to send with to them for the reimbursement. Going through them brought back a rush of memories from the last few days and of the day she died. That didn't seem so hard at the time but I can't seem to get the thoughts and images out of my head. (Related the insomnia I imagine).
I need to get some work done so I'll close for now.
