Building a new relationship after my wife's death.

The last couple of weeks were somewhat more difficult than I had expected. Mostly because of some odd memories. I have repeatedly been recalling the day she died and the events that happened that day in the hospital. I find myself going over the details in my mind, not sure why, just remembering. Details like the relief in voice of the floor nurses when they learned that Jo was being transferred to intensive care! I think about; The kindness of the nurses and techs in the pulmonary intensive care unit. I think about; How much help it was to me when Deanna (our daughter) arrived that day; Even the difficulty of calling Jake (our son) trying to get through to him finding later that his phone had been left off the hook by accident. All kinds of small details, for the most part unimportant but somehow they are stuck in my memory and now they keep coming back.

I even have some strange dreams. I don't often have or recall dreams but during the last two weeks I dream often of her. In these dreams she and I are apart and trying to get together but things keep preventing us from succeeding. (The meaning seems clear now but when I have the dreams it is not so clear.)

Today I saw some old friends who I hadn't seen since the funeral and that made a nice afternoon. This weekend I kept Scott and Marissa while Rich and Deanna took a short trip to commemorate their anniversary (number 13). We had a good time, the kids an I, played Monopoly and Scrabble, and saw Marissa march in her high school band. Then today we went to Scotts Bantam Football game. The game was in Sonora where we met the Shoemakers at their church then they came to the game with us. This week I have lunches planned with other old friends. The fact that they all tuned up this week is pure coincidence, not planned. Looking forward to seeing them and catching up. Also Jake is coming to town for business and will come tomorrow for dinner and will spend the night. I look forward to seeing him.

I'll be happy when the feelings of loss and missing Jo abate more. They don't feel good right now. Walt

posted by Walt # 8:48 PM

Comments:

Hey Walt,

I just wanted to let you know that I really feel for you. A few years ago I lost my son to suicide. I understand those feelings of emptiness that you are going through. It is very difficult to lose a loved one...but I have found that time and reflection help the healing process. I must say that I have learned a lot following the death of my son.

I feel as though I was able to turn such a tragedy into a triumph through the things I have learned following the deah of my son Demetrius. I have since written a book about my reflection. Sometime if you get a chance you should check out my Web site. I too have a blog at www.tamarasutton.com.

In Light and Love,

Tamara

# posted by

Tamara Sutton : 1:17 PM

Hello again Walt,
Well it's been 2 years, and I am wondering how you are doing now. Generally, as time passes the sharp pain of loss does abate, but it doesn't mean that we miss them less, in fact, in my case, it's been 10 years since my son died and I still miss his blue eyes and sweet face. But we do move on in life, and that's a good thing. I hope you have found Peace and healing, please let me know at tamarasutton.com Blessings, TS

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:00 PM

Building a new relationship after my wife's death.

Sunday, September 26, 2004

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