Deanna told me that Josie’s death confirmed to her how she and Diana are “connected” still. First there are the similarities in their lives and mother’s lives; Both mom’s have the Jo (one Spanish and one English); Both named their daughters’ with similar names, the daughters are the same age; they live on the same street; the moms were same age; they died in the same year; they both died from leukemia.
Josie died last Thursday and Deanna didn’t know about it until Saturday but she said on Thursday she felt tired in the afternoon and went to rest. She dreamed about Jo Lynn in her coffin for the first time! She thought that was significant.
She went on to tell me that she has never thought about the image of her mother in the coffin before and she never thinks about the actual death. Instead she has and keeps the happy memories and those are the memories she thinks about. I am glad about that.
I don’t know if I can ever get to that point or not. Currently every couple of weeks my memories focus on the day she died and I can’t seem to shake it. Even when I stop thinking about that day, the memory of it is just under the surface. Of course I remember good times too but I can’t shake the bad memories either.
I don’t have a plan to get by this I just keep hoping that time will fix it but I am not so confident and I don’t know how long it might take.
