I have been so busy at work that I haven’t taken time to blog for some time. We have a lot of stress at work now and it is a bit of a pain. We are in a hiring mode and once we get past that we will be in better shape. Meantime, we need to soldier on.
Scott is staying with me this weekend over Memorial Day. We went to a SF Giants game on Friday, the Giants lost. Yesterday evening we went to symphony, Scott says he “may” want to go again but he wasn’t to enthused by it (he fell asleep). We also went to bike ride yesterday but his bicycle broke in a minor crash after less than two miles and we had to walk the bikes back to the car! Today we will go to church and maybe a movie. He says he is having a good time.
We all leave for Hawaii next Saturday and everyone is looking forward to that. I expect that it will be great fun and a good time to relax. Marissa and I have to take photos for our wall to be presented in July at Photosig.
The trip will be fun but I can’t help thinking about how much Jo Lynn would have loved taking this trip with everyone. I am doubtful that we could have found time for everyone to go together while she was still alive. Somehow the kids have and I have grown closer and more interested in combined family outings and events since she is gone. It may be me that has changed or at least my perception is changed. No matter; we will have great time on vacation. It will be the first time ever that we have ever taken a trip like this as adults, in fact it is probably the first time since Jake and Deanna were in high school that they have taken a trip together with me! I am thankful to them for doing it.
Eileen’s birthday is coming up, she is Jo’s mom, I am not sure how well she is but I am sending a card. I hope it makes her day a little more cheerful. I have been thinking about Jo more lately. Missing her a lot and thinking about how I never really expected to be alone, even when she was sick the first time, although we knew she might die it never came through to me what it would like to live alone, without her. I am lonesome and often sad when I am alone especially in the evenings and the weekend afternoons.
It is hard to describe the feelings I have now. I am lonely but I have grown used to being alone and lonely so it no longer feels as strange as it did. In fact I would say it feels rather normal now! Not happy but customary, I suppose.
